The art of hosting is in the small stuff
Also dishing: a Nutella babka recipe, a daily provisions double-header, and all of the things lurking in my shopping cart
Hello world! Last week I hit a big milestone: 2,500 subscribers — and since then, almost 250 more of you have joined, which is so exciting. Writing this newsletter is truly my favorite part of the week, so it means sooo much that you want to hear me ramble. I made a TikTok about what I learned hitting 2,500 if you’re curious.
A few fun updates: I’m hosting my first big dinner party this weekend with
(full debrief next week), I’m writing a guest issue for Resident in October, and I’ve got a paid-subscribers-only newsletter dropping Sunday or Monday with creative dinner party concepts for the month. She’s busy!Anyways, feeling chatty today. This week’s about the little hosting habits — the easy ones I somehow forget but whenever I remember to do them, the whole night feels smoother.
And if you’re new here, hi! I grew a following on TikTok after cooking through the NYT Top 50 Recipes, and now I write this newsletter because it’s my favorite thing to do. If you’re not subscribed yet, now’s a great time to fix that. :)
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CURRENTLY:
PS — If you're just here to shop the things I mention (skincare, clothes, kitchen staples), I try to keep it all tidy on my ShopMy.
Cooking: For Rosh Hashana I made Carolina Gelen’s kugel (kinda half kugel, half tahdig?) and it was crunchy perfection, Ina Garten’s brisket (my first time, a patience game since it keeps tenderizing after it’s “done” on a meat thermometer), and Melissa Clark’s chocolate babka (INSANE). I swapped in Nutella for the filling and I’m coming for you Breads Bakery
In my cart: These slouchy jeans ($245) from EB Denim feel chic and easy, and these track pants ($138) are a great in-between sweat and trouser. Also loving a shrug over a workout set, found a cute one ($78) I might need. Lastly, a friend sent me the Our Place x Crocs hot grips ($55)… as a Croc girlie, I may need to hop on these
Wearing: These simple Ref suit pants ($198) have basically become a uniform. I wore them to synagogue on Tuesday with a jacket and heels, but I’ve also been rotating them with loafers and a tee. Aaand… not technically wearing, but I need to reiterate my new no-heat hair routine because it’s been life changing: crown affair leave-in conditioner ($48) + air dry mousse ($38) together. They also sent me a hair towel ($55) that actually stays on my head while I’m doing things around my apartment and I kind of already want another
P.S. I’m continuously adding all of these wears & wants to a fall ShopMy collection.
Need a Rec For: A hairspray that doesn’t make me feel sticky, heavy, or like I just sprayed perfume in my hair. I’ve been going without because my hair feels healthier, but it falls flat so fast
Watching: DWTS, though I fell asleep last night so no spoilers please if you text me. Also started the new HBO show Task. Still debating whether to start The Pitt after it won a bunch of Emmys (I hate blood) — LMK if you have thoughts
Listening: Really loved the NYT Daily’s Sunday Special on what makes a restaurant great. It walks through their whole process of picking restaurants, how they debate, and the inevitable DMs they get when people disagree. Highly recommend if you’re a foodie like me
Scrolling:
(my cohost this weekend) posted a day in her life from her dinner party last week and it’s so good — plus a sneak peek at her incredible space. Also saw a pool dog video that felt very my family dog, and a guy singing Mask Off (by future) as Hugh Jackman which is ridiculous to put in my newsletter but hilariousMarket Pulse: Rhode hit Sephora and did $15 million in sales on day one (!!). I went to Sephora last week and it was completely sold out, good for Hailey. Also loved this WSJ piece on how marriage is increasingly a status symbol — hits differently (and correctly?) in my wedding era. And the highly-anticipated NikeSKIMS collab? brand? is finally dropping Friday
Discussing: Just because I’m curious — how does this newsletter find you?
I’m going to start sharing last week’s poll results here, too. I asked “what would you hate most if your enemy did,” and the winner was… getting published in the NYT (tea).
THE SMALL STUFF THAT MAKES HOSTING BETTER
Hosting really is an art. (In case you missed it, I wrote a whole piece on 5 ways to make gathering more special kinda inspired by The Art of Gathering — you can read it here.) Think of this as a little add-on — the smaller habits I’ve noticed other hosts do that aren’t for the elaborate 12-person dinner, but for the two-to-six-people nights. Tiny moves that make hosting feel easier, warmer, more human.
Let me know what you’re wearing. The pre-text outfit check is so underrated. I love when a host or guest sends “jeans and a sweater” or “going dressy” before the night even starts — instantly sets the vibe. (For me, it’s usually, “I’m in sweats btw.”)
Have a snack out if you’re still cooking. Nothing elaborate — a bowl of olives, chips, bread and butter. Just something to keep people from hovering in your kitchen asking, “what can I do to help?” while you’re elbow-deep in the chicken.
Built-in leftovers. My favorite is when a host pulls out Tupperware (cheap ones you literally order on Amazon) and is like, “take some with you.” A little dessert or a scoop of the main — it makes the night feel generous and stretches into tomorrow’s lunch.
The coat/bag anticipation. Sounds tiny, but someone swooping in to grab your coat or bag right away makes you feel taken care of. Otherwise you get the dreaded “where should I put this?” moment and suddenly your guest has opened a closet full of the stuff you shoved in there five minutes before.
Bathroom prep (lol). The best hosts always do a quick sweep before people arrive — candle lit, extra TP visible, hand towel actually dry. It’s a 20-second reset that makes a huge difference.
Water, always. A pitcher on the table from the start so you’re not sprinting to the sink every time someone takes a sip.
(Flaky) Salt + pepper within reach. Might sound obvious, but when the shakers are already out, no one has to sheepishly ask mid-bite.
Serving utensils are part of the prep. When you’re getting dishes ready — like while the main is heating and you’re setting out the sides — just throw the spoons/tongs/ladles in then. Otherwise you’ll forget until people are serving themselves and suddenly everyone’s poking at the potatoes with their fork.
Maybe some of these feel obvious, but writing them out is oddly helpful for me — almost like a checklist to make sure guests actually feel good and comfortable in my space (and in yours too)!
OTHER THINGS:
Vulnerable share: I burn myself nearly every time I cook. Last night was especially bad — I’m now fully stocked with burn cream and gauze :) On a different kind of pain: I did Solidcore for the first time in five years and I kinda feel like I got punched in the stomach
NYC things: Manhattan Vintage is doing a denim edition this weekend (tickets are $22) with custom embroidery and tailoring, which sounds very cool. Also, the Met rooftop is closing October 19 for renovations until 2030. It’s gorgeous up there, so if you needed a nudge to go, this is it
Ate this week: Daily Provisions twice — Thursday I got my fave spring crunchy salad with an Arnold Palmer, then Saturday I did the BLT + salmon niçoise. Also finally tried Demo in the West Village and was pleasantly surprised… the space, the vibe, the food — all so good
Small joy, big impact: When people text me about this newsletter or say they cooked something I made — it makes my whole week. One friend of a friend made the bread-and-butter pickle tuna melt and said her boyfriend had never kissed her harder. Another: a friend of my boyfriend’s bought his girlfriend something from here and it was apparently a huge hit (fingers crossed I earned commission). Truly love hearing all of it
And don’t forget to like, comment, repost, subscribe, and share with your friends. It all makes me smile. And I don’t do that often.
Ok now make one on how to get people to come to your dinner party LOL
ace recommendations per usual. read (and loved) every word!