5 things that quietly make you really good at getting people together
How to gather better, a lacy skirt I couldn’t resist, love island brain rot, and so much more
Hey friends! If you know me, you know I looove a hang. I’ve hosted my fair share of things (big, small, mismatched chairs, you name it), and I’ve picked up a few small things that make the whole night feel more connected and a little more intentional — without trying too hard. (The Art of Gathering got me started on this, but don’t worry, this isn’t a book review newsletter.)
Also in this ~edition: a NYC pasta that lives up to the hype, a new French spot to try in Greenwich Village, a summer wardrobe wishlist I created just for you (and for myself), and a Molly Baz strawberry dessert I can’t stop thinking about.
If you’re new here — welcome. If you’re not subscribed yet, now’s a great time to fix that.
CURRENTLY:
Cooking Recipe Lurking: I cannot stop thinking about this strawberry praline triflemisu from Molly Baz. It’s so giving retro fruit girl summer! Also, my feed has been serving me tons summery tuna dishes lately (?) (tostadas, tuna con tomate, tartares), and I’m going to have to give in soon
In my cart: I’ve re-entered the seasonal panic shop. I have this white drop-waist skirt ($148) that will literally pair with everything en route and also (oops) bought another lacy skirt number ($285) because it’s the kind of elevated basic that makes you look insanely put together with minimal effort. FYI, I made an entire ShopMy collection of what I’m actually wearing this summer. It's all gold. You’re welcome.
Wearing: I wore this yellow silk maxi dress ($320) to my sister’s graduation — it’s one of those pieces that works just as well at a backyard dinner. Also — this halter from Geel ($92) is the perfect tank. If you’re in the market for a not-boring summer basic, this is it
Re-Recommending: I am once again telling you about the Arrae Tone gummies ($49). I know I’ve become a creatine spokesperson to my friends and family, but if you’re even a little curious about the benefits, please read this article
Watching: I flew back and forth to California this weekend and am now fully caught up on Love Island (USA). Also started watching Friends & Neighbors and developed an all-consuming crush on Jon Hamm (coldest take EVER!)
Scrolling (Online): (As if my feed contained anything other than Love Island memes)… RX bar slander, Stormi reacting Kylie’s ‘King Kylie’ era, and an interpretive dance of Steph Curry finding the dead spot on the court
Market Pulse: Oura’s latest campaign does what so many brands attempt but rarely pull off: it turns product placement into philosophy. Aging isn’t something to fear; it’s something to strive toward. The tone is confident without being cloying, and it actually gives the product emotional weight. In contrast (lol), I found this Guardian article on social media’s performance of rawness equally fascinating. Gen Z’s rejection of polish has morphed into a new kind of perfectionism — vulnerability, but make it aesthetic. A good reminder that branding is everywhere, even in our breakdowns
Discussing: Your in-flight bev of choice says a LOT about you.
5 EASY WINS FOR A BETTER HANG, PARTY, DINNER, WHATEVER
I’ve hosted a lot of things — from 400+ person events (the lore!) to tiny dinner parties in my apartment with barely enough chairs. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the best gatherings (no matter the size) don’t just happen — they’re made (sappy).
A few years ago I read The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, which basically argues that we spend way too much time stressing about what we’re serving or how things will look, and not nearly enough time thinking about why we’re bringing people together in the first place. Spoiler: the why is everything.
So whether you’re planning a birthday, a backyard dinner, or one of those “should we open another bottle?” kind of nights, here are five things I swear by when hosting. Think of these as low-effort ways to make things feel more curated without being over-planned — a few tiny tweaks that make a big difference in how your night feels (and how much you enjoy it).
Set an intention (stay with me… it’s not thaaat deep)
Most people host on autopilot… because it’s Friday, because someone’s in town, because we “should.” But it’s worth asking: what do you actually want the night to feel like? Not in a dramatic way, just… literally what’s the point?
Setting a loose intention makes everything else easier — who you invite, what you serve, how you set things up. Do you want people to meet each other? To fully relax? To feel like they’re in someone’s home, not just in a room with snacks?
It can be as simple as: “this is a soft landing after a chaotic week,” or “I want everyone to leave with a new friend,” or even “I just want it to feel like summer.” That’s enough. Start there.
Give people an agenda: what should they wear, what are you serving, when are you serving it?
These aren’t control-freak questions — they’re just basic hospitality. Most people show up to a gathering low-key stressed about being underdressed, too early, or weirdly hungry. So tell them what to expect. It’s the easiest way to take the panic out of the group chat.
Even something like “we’re eating around 8, dresses encouraged but nothing fancy, we’ll be outside” does the trick. People just want to know the vibe so they can match it. Give them that.
Plan one easy touchpoint
It doesn’t have to be a full-fledged game night (but it can be). Just one thing that gives people a reason to talk to each other and makes the night feel a little more thought-through. It could be as simple as:
A question everyone answers at the table (funny or reflective — not trauma)
A dare or prompt behind each place card
Drawing a picture of yourself before you walk in (yes, I saw this on Pinterest and yes, it was cute)
A “find the person” game with one wild fact about each guest
A collaborative playlist: everyone adds one song — it's a group effort to set the vibe
Dinner table awards: at the end of the night, everyone gives someone at the table a made-up award (can’t repeat people)
People want a reason to interact beyond “so, what do you do?” (yawn).
Actually tell people what they can bring!
“Just bring yourselves” is never that helpful — and honestly, it stresses people out. Most guests want some direction. Assign drinks, dessert, flowers, or the speaker someone always forgets. Giving people a role makes them feel more included.
And if you’ve got the basics covered? Ask for something small but specific — a bag of ice, a bottle they’ve been into lately, a playlist, a candle for the table. Doesn’t have to be major — just a little way to make them part of it.
Over-communicate (gently)!
Most (!) people (!) will not (!) read (!) your invite! Follow up the day before with a quick, casual “Excited to see you! Reminder we’re eating around 8, backyard vibes, bring whatever bottle you’re into right now.” It sets expectations, avoids texts that might annoy you, and makes you look extremely on top of it.
OTHER HIGHLIGHTS FROM MY WEEK:
Shower thought: I saw Jon Hamm eating at S&P in Your Friends & Neighbors and thought… is there a job where you get to decide which restaurants characters eat at in TV shows and movies? Like, imagine being in charge of curating the exact place where a scene should take place — I want that job
NYC things: A new French spot just opened in the Marlton Hotel and it’s from the Il Buco culinary team. Also, loved this article rounding up where top NYC chefs actually eat — sooo many gems in here
Ate this week: Finally went to Lilia for the first time and it fully lived up to the hype. The mafaldini was my favorite (even over the agnolotti, sorry) — truly one of the best pasta dishes I’ve had in a while. Service was a little... leisurely, but still gave it a 9.4/10 on Beli
Small joy, big impact: A Diet Coke on the rocks on a plane. That’s all
Lastly,
And don’t forget to like, comment, repost, subscribe, and share with your friends. It all makes me smile. And I don’t do that often.
I love your graphics but if you did want help I’m a freelance designer 🙌☺️
I love this so much. Thank youuu!!!